skarme (blitzente) wrote,

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So... yesterday I kind of came out to my mum.

I semi-meant to. I'm not the best liar in the world, and I've been out to friggin' everybody since September 2010 (thank you, timestamp on old LJ post!), so it was going to happen eventually. But I was hoping to save it for the summer - you know, after my exams, her exams, my properly moving into this flat, their moving into a house on the other side of Nottingham and everything. Instead, I wound up blurting it out after she rang yesterday and spent a good 90 minutes telling me I should get over myself and there's zero chance that anything is wrong with me and if I fail the year it's because I'm a lazy arse who plays too many video games. Best-laid plans, etc.

(She wasn't really wrong, but I actually haven't been playing very many video games recently, by my standards. Sometimes days go by.)

It went like this:

"You need to get out more. Maybe you need a boyfriend. You said you didn't have time for dating, but have you met any boy you like?"
"Maybe one of your friends has a boyfriend and you're jealous? Is that it?"
"No, if any of them aren't single I don't know about it. Um -"
"Oh, so that's not it. Well -"
"I - I'm not into boys."
"- if you've got time to mope, you've got time to socialise -"
"...Did you hear what I just said?"
"Yeah, you said you're not into boys, which means you must be a gay or something."
"As I was saying -"
"I think I'm bi. And I've been out to everyone except you for about two years."
"What does that mean, into both? Pff, I doubt it. Anyway..."

Later she said it was entirely my prerogative what I did (even though I, umm, haven't done anything yet ._.;), that it might just be a phase but she didn't have the time or inclination to force me out of it, and that she'd suspected for quite a few years now (which is weird because I hadn't. Is my gaydar that terrible? Oh, but I guess the only person I've ever dated was a gay guy, so it probably is.).

It went... okay, I guess. I'm not disowned, and she didn't even shout at me very much. In my experience her level of religiosity / intolerance tends to fluctuate with her stress level, and I would've thought that was going to be quite high right now due to the move and exams and all, but maybe I caught her on a good day.

And I suppose I feel a little better. It wasn't a massive weight off like some of the anecdotes make it out to be, though. There's still everything else to think about.
Tags: bleh, rl, teenage angst
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